''Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.'' (Exodus 14:13 - 14:14 NLT)
At the beginning of the year, it was crystal clear! I knew the decisions, I needed to take to change the course of my life. I had this burst in me, I couldn’t control it anymore! I knew it was time for me to step out of my comfort zone and start living the life, I always wanted to live. For a long time, I had tamed many wonderful dreams I had, because every time I would share with others, I was often told: ''Carine, you have too much love for the earthly things '', as if it was a bad thing to desire the best for my life ...
For a while, I thought, I had ''high'' demands, when in reality, I was just asking for so little! For years, I felt unappreciated and undervalued and in my heart, I knew, I deserved a much better quality of relationship. Thankfully, God had other plans, good plans for me! Some circumstances, sadly hurtful circumstances, made me realize that I should take back control of my life and start living it up to the fullest with no consideration for toxic opinions. This time, I had it all planned out, step by step I was going to achieve the very goals I have set for my life at the beginning of this year.
Deceitfully as I entered unknown territories, and knocked that doors that refused to open, I started to second-guess the vision I had. Running out of capacity, and falling short on my resources, I really wanted to go back to how it used to be...Go back to my comfort place of letting people control me by giving me a sense of meeting up a need, I thought I could not fill! ''Back then everything was under control. I had someone I could split up the bills with, fake friends that could have babysat my kid... Now it has become way too uncertain... I don’t think I am cut out for this life I am dreaming of,'' I began to think lately.
In the midst of deep frustration and discouragement, God reminded me of this story: the crossing of God's people from Egypt to the Promise Land. ''Why would God give them a promise then go around and make things complicated by hardening the heart of Pharaoh?'' we've all once asked that question, I am pretty sure. As I find myself in the same position, I understand now that God knew that the people would be tempted to go back. And sure enough, they started to complain and wanted to go back to Egypt when things became tough. Haven't God hardened Pharaoh's heart, making it impossible for him to take them back, they would have returned to being slaves and would have never experienced the Freedom promised to them in a prosperous land of their own. God made sure they had no other choices than to trust Him, move forward and wait on Him while facing the Red sea.
Although I am tempted to give up, I am glad to have no other choice than to trust God, believing that every door He closes, is for a good reason. As intense as these times might be, I know, what lies ahead of me, is worth the fight! The ''promise'' land is worth this tumultuous journey and most importantly I know, God will make a way! So I will stay calm, I will stand still and watch the sea divide. In harder times, just remember that God is protecting you from things that are not intended for you and will cause you great harm. He is closing every door that will set you back or take you back to ''slavery'' and powerfully pushing into your destiny. Do not force nor abandon your vision, let the flow of His grace peacefully lead you. Stay Blessed!