Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace[a] with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. 2 Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God’s glory. Rom 5:1 -2 NLT
For a long time, I was haunted by the idea of missing out “the perfect will” of God for my life. In my Good girl gone wise blogpost, I have shared a bit on my upbringing and how it impacted my vision of life as a young Ivorian girl. Thankfully, to have known Christ in my teenage years has, with no doubt, positively influenced my thinking process. Although it allowed me to correct some the wrong beliefs I had about my identity, still some of the teachings back in those days, left me living in fear of missing out God’s best for me.
My whole life, I have lived by the ‘’book”, tried to avoid “sin”. Do not get me wrong, it’s a good thing to try to be a good person and do good by people but if the intent is to earn God’s favour, we end up performing our whole life and not really living it. We end up deceive ourselves, as even a ‘’self-righteous” life cannot prevent bad things to happen to us.
Five years ago, things finally started to look bright for me. All I ever dreamed of was slowly taking shape: a beautiful house, a husband, our first child on the way and a fulfilling career: I got it all! I said to myself : “ this must certainly be the perfect will of God coming to pass in my life! ‘’. It was easy to feel in right standing with God because everything was perfectly in line with my plans. I worked hard to stand where I was standing but little that I knew, trying to be the “perfect’’ wife was not able to keep things from falling apart…
Here I am five years later, starting all over again. Believe me, the hardest part was not even the actual trauma of breaking up seven plus years of commitment but the fact that I thought that I might have missed God’s perfect plan for my life.
“And be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.’’ Rom 12:2
The three wills of God: the good, the acceptable and the perfect! This is how a verse meant to uplift and encourage, was presented to me, as a young teenage girl. An hyperbolic figure transformed into a comparative statement. This interpretation planted a seed, a seed of fear regarding how my future would turn if any possible uncontrollable incident was to happen and soon enough, it did happen.
This old rigged teaching added an unbearable weight to the cross, I already had to carry after the divorce. Yes, our poor decisions come with consequences that we sometimes have to live with for the rest of our lives but our life experience goes beyond the choices we make, circumstances we often don’t control. Was I not supposed to marry my best friend? The man I loved? A thousand questions ran through my head when it all happened. I felt ashamed, walking down the aisle of the Church, thinking that my whole life was ruined.
As we celebrated the pinnacle of Christianity that is Easter this year, I am reminded of why Jesus had to go through all that He went through. I am reminded that if marrying my best friend was the biggest mistake I could have possible done so far, still Jesus’s blood has redeemed it. And today, the meaning of reconciliation take its full sense for me, for the broken and the whole, the sinner and the redeemed , the lost and even the found; for of all humanity.
How can I be redeemed and still fall in the second or third …. “less promising” will of God? If my debt is paid in full, it means that I have access to a fresh start with endless possibilities as if nothing ever happened. This is the power of His Blood!
The plan of God? The plan of God is that I might live an abundant life, that my sins drown in the seas of Mercy and Grace! The work and the standards that I’ve hold myself up to, could not immune my heart from disappointments and pain. But the good is news is that after all these years, trying to untie the knots of a failed attempt at an happily ever after, a toxic thought is finally being broken: the best is yet to come!
Jesus died so I could live my very best life! It is not a “second best” plan, He is not the kind to hold back on his blessings! Buried dreams back to life, a daughter has found her way back to light , back home: loved, accepted, forgiven.
If you feel like your life is ruined because of past events, I would like to invite you to revisit the Cross and find its meaning for you today! It may never be like it used to be but it does not mean that you are missing out on God's best for you within the setting of your current life. There is purpose, there is hope, there is a future, a passionate adventure awaiting for you to embark on.
Would you receive it?!